Chris Scott

NICKNAMES

Cooser, Scottie, Cooz, Big Boy.

PERSONAL BACKGROUND

Born in Dunedin. Educated at King's High School. Currently employed by New Zealand Post.

FAVOURITE PASTIMES

SEX, football, SEX, and more SEX.

CAREER GOALS AND AMBITIONS

To simply maintain good health and enjoy life, and rock the way to the top by visiting all NZ private naughty establishments.

FAVOURITE POSITION

Defender...
...Then there is my other favourite positions: The missionary, doggy, monkey, reverse monkey, spoons, tyrannosaurus rex, crooked toaster, the rifleman, sixty-niner, mrs palmer and those five daughters, the own goal, the viking, the teapot, sitting on the toilet, the wheelbarrow, the sure footed shower, the banging of the wall, the straddling of the collossus, playing the chello, turning the corkscrew, the Volkswagon, riding the steer, the ice-cream condom, the sofa shag, hoovering the floor, the fondling of the animal, the square,the doggy loop (3some), or anything before cramp sets in.

PLAYER #

10

FOOTBALL BACKGROUND

Kings' and Cavvy

FAVOURITE FOOTBALL MOMENTS

Scoring against Balclutha in 19.....???

WORST FOOTBALL MOMENT

Losing, and pulling up with cramp.

FAVOURITE TEAMS

Leeds United, Caversham AFC

FAVOURITE PLAYERS

Pele, Rodney Fleming.

FOOTBALL AMBITIONS

To win the Versitile Feltcher Cup.

BEST ADVICE EVER BEEN GIVEN

Don't jump from a height without checking what's below.
Always use your headlights.
Don't wipe your 'head' on the curtains.
Never pullout even if it is too late.

BEST QUOTE EVER HEARD

You've got to ride the wave of love.
Bald men are good in bed.
Fat men are sooo sexy.
The world can never have too many COOZERs.

FIVE FAVOURITE SONGS OF ALL TIME

1. Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady.
2. Lady in Red.
3. Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.
4. Hey Ladies.
5. Stairway to (the lady's) Heaven.

FIVE FAVOURITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME

1. Debbie Does Dunedin.
2. Robocock.
3. GoldenRod.
4. Lock Cock and Two Stroking Tunnels.
5. Gang Bang series 1 to 10.

FIVE HOTTEST WOMEN

1. Mrs Sumo.
2. Goldilocks.
3. Smurfette.
4. The Topp Twins.
5. The Two Fat Ladies.

WORST PUBLIC DISPLAY

Sex Worker.....Four Positions....Cramp....Saying it loud enough for everybody at the breakfast table the next morning before the premier's had to play Woolston - 1998!!!

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